How to Word Your Wedding Invitation Essential Planning Checklist Timeline Tips

How to Word Your Wedding Invitation: Essential Planning Checklist Timeline Tips

Hey there, future wedding planner extraordinaire! Let’s have a real talk for a second. You’ve found the person, you’ve picked a date (or at least a season), and now you’re staring at a blank screen, utterly paralyzed by the thought of wording your wedding invitations. Do you go super formal? Funny? Somewhere in the middle that says, “We’re classy but we also love a good taco bar”?

Take a deep breath. I’ve been there. I remember the heated debate my partner and I had over the Oxford comma in our own invites. (Spoiler: I won. The comma stays.) Wording your invites doesn’t have to be a source of stress. It’s actually a super fun chance to give your guests their very first taste of your wedding’s vibe. Think of it as the opening act for the main event!

So, grab your favorite drink, and let’s break this down into a totally manageable, step-by-step guide. We’ll cover everything from what words to use to when you need to have it all done. No stuffy rulebooks here—just friendly, practical advice.

Getting Started: Who’s Hosting and What’s the Vibe?

Before you type a single word, you need to answer two big questions. Getting this right sets the tone for everything that follows.

First up: Who is hosting? This is traditional etiquette’s way of asking who is paying for the shindig. This used to dictate the exact wording, but guess what? We live in modern times where pretty much anything goes. IMO, it’s less about who writes the check and more about honoring the people who have supported you.

• Traditional (Parents Hosting): “Mr. and Mrs. John Smith request the honour of your presence at the marriage of their daughter, Jane Marie…”
• Modern (Couple Hosting): “Together with their families, Jane Smith and Mark Jones invite you to celebrate their marriage…” This is a popular and lovely option that includes everyone.
• Super Casual (You Do You): “You’re invited! Eat, drink, and be merry as we tie the knot. Jane and Mark are getting married!” Perfect for a backyard or destination wedding.

Second: What is your wedding’s personality? Are you having a black-tie gala at a museum or a rustic bash in a barn? Your words should match. You wouldn’t use “request the honour of your presence” for a beach party, just like you probably wouldn’t use “party with us!” for a cathedral ceremony. See how that works?

The Essential Wording Cheat Sheet

Alright, let’s get into the nitty-gritty. Every invitation needs a few key pieces of information. Think of this as your checklist. Miss one, and your Great Aunt Martha will be on the phone for weeks asking for directions.

The Host Line: We just talked about this! This kicks everything off.

The Request Line: This is the “you’re invited” part. “Request the honour of your presence” typically denotes a religious ceremony, while “request the pleasure of your company” is often used for secular ones. But honestly? Use whichever one you think sounds nicer.

The Couple’s Names: This one seems obvious, right? Pro tip: List the names in the same order you use everywhere else. If you’re both keeping your names, that’s easy. If one is changing, you can add a line at the bottom like, “Jane Smith and Mark Jones, together with their families” and then later, “After the wedding, the couple will reside in Seattle as Jane and Mark Jones.”

The Date and Time: Spell out the day of the week, the date, and the year. Write the time out as well. So it’s “Saturday, the fifteenth of October, two thousand twenty-four at half after four in the afternoon” not “10/15/24 at 4:30 PM.” Looks fancier, doesn’t it? Also, be clear! Is it in the morning or the evening? No one should have to guess.

The Location: List the name of the venue, then the address. City and State are a must. If your ceremony and reception are in the same place, you can add “Reception to follow” at the bottom. If they’re at different locations, you need a separate reception card. Trust me on this.

Your Wedding Invitation Timeline: Don’t Panic!

Ever wondered why stationery designers seem so calm? It’s because they have a timeline, and so should you. Rushing this process leads to typos, regret, and a whole lot of stress. Here’s your game plan:

9-12 Months Before: Order Your Stationery Suite.
Yep, you read that right. You need to choose your designer or stationer almost a year out. This gives you time for samples to arrive, to decide on colors and paper, and to get in their queue. This is one task you do not want to leave until the last minute.

6-8 Months Before: Finalize Your Wording.
Sit down with your partner (and hosts, if they want input) and hammer out the details from our cheat sheet above. Get everyone to sign off on it. This is also the time to finalize your guest list and get all those addresses collected. Pro-tip: Use a Google Form or an address collection service to avoid a million text messages. It’s a lifesaver.

4-5 Months Before: Place the Printing Order.
Send your finalized wording and guest list to your stationer or upload it to your chosen printing service. Then, take a breather! Your part is (mostly) done for now.

3-4 Months Before: Proofread Like Your Marriage Depends On It.
The proofs will arrive. Read every single word out loud. Then, have your partner read it. Then, have your most detail-oriented friend read it. Check the spelling of the venue, the dates, the times. A typo here is a forever kind of mistake. FYI 🙂

2-3 Months Before: Stuff, Stamp, and Send!
Mail your invitations 6-8 weeks before the wedding. For a destination wedding, bump that up to 10-12 weeks. Give people time to book travel, request off work, and find a pet sitter. Don’t forget the stamps! And for heaven’s sake, take one fully assembled invite to the post office to be weighed. That fancy wax seal might need an extra stamp, and you don’t want them all being returned to you.

Common Wording Conundrums (And How to Solve Them)

This is where we get into the fun stuff. Life is messy and beautiful, and your invite can reflect that.

What if our parents are divorced?
List them on separate lines. “Ms. Anna Smith and Mr. John Smith” together is fine if they’re amicable. If not, you can list them separately: “Ms. Anna Smith” on one line and “Mr. John Smith” on the next. Easy.

How do we address guests?
For inner envelopes, be specific. “Grandma” or “Uncle Steve” is warm and personal. For outer mailing envelopes, use formal titles (Mr., Ms., Dr., etc.) to ensure mail carriers can deliver them correctly. For families, “The Smith Family” covers everyone at one address.

What about dress code?
This is a big one. You don’t have to be stuffy about it. Instead of “Black Tie Optional,” you could say, “Cocktail Attire” or “Formal Garden Party Attire.” The key is to give your guests a clear idea so they feel comfortable and confident. No one wants to be over or under-dressed.

The Golden Rule: It’s YOUR Wedding

At the end of the day, these are your rules. If you want your invite to be a quirky poem that you wrote yourselves, do it. If you want to include a funny line about an unplugged ceremony (“We’re begging you, be present and put your phones away!”), go for it. Your invitation is a reflection of you as a couple.

The most important thing is that it feels authentic to you. All the “rules” are really just guidelines from a bygone era. The best invite is one that gets your guests excited and makes them feel the love you two share before they even arrive.

So, have fun with it! Pour a glass of wine, put on some good music, and make a date night out of finalizing your wording. This is one of the first tangible things you’ll create for your wedding day—savor the moment.

Now go forth and create some stationery magic. You’ve totally got this. And if anyone questions your lack of an Oxford comma, just send them my way 😉